Today I write this post as a bit of scolding to myself. This morning, I had a total meltdown mentally and emotionally; but it was completely avoidable. That’s because I’ve been whispering to myself for days, “Protect your energy,” as I started feeling weary.

I ignored my own advice.

For days, I’ve had warning signs that my energy was depleted. This morning, as I was making the beds, I thought to myself that my very being felt so thin that I could see through myself. Yet, I pushed myself forward as I am working on a project with a self-imposed deadline. Within two hours, I was bawling and non-functioning. I couldn’t work on my project even though I wanted to. With no mental energy that could be summoned at any cost, I simply walked around the house and cried crocodile tears.

Suddenly, my all-important project had zero importance.

We underestimate the value of our energy and how directly it impacts our peace. That’s because it’s unseen and we’re more concerned about opinions (our own and others). For me, I think if I’m awake I have to be accomplishing something. That usually means working in some capacity. Some folks don’t have this issue of feeling the need to always be doing, but for all the other over-achievers in this world, like me, we need a reminder of the value of our energy.

VISIONARIES CAN STRUGGLE GREATLY

One of the main purposes of starting Paola Lane Magazine was to teach me to live slowly and enjoy the little things. That’s quite difficult task for a visionary like myself. My mind tells me that if I want to live slowly I have to give up the passion and vision pulsing through my veins. Yet, that’s not true. Clearly, I’m still learning to find the harmony between living slowly and purposely pursuing vision.

Visionaries have the tendency to go full-force until we hit the proverbial brick wall. We get an idea and we’re so excited that we jump all-in and full-throttle not even sure where we’re headed. Frankly, we’re not much better than a crash-test dummy when we leave our passions and vision untamed. 😆 And we repeat this disaster convincing ourselves that life is more like a roller coaster and we can handle the ups and downs, but we always forget that our roller coasters are not circular or repetitious…there is always a brick wall along the way.

WHEN I WAS OUTDONE BY SENIOR CITIZENS

Even if you are not a visionary, your energy can be easily sapped or stolen if you’re not watchful. As I mentioned, the value of our personal “energy” is greatly underestimated, in general. It’s as the wind: invisible, yet the effects, profound. Being within stressful environments quickly deplete our energy and impact our ability to respond well. Understanding what depletes our energy and what strengthens it is vital. And it’s different for every person.

It wasn’t until the last few years that I started to consider the importance and value of my energy. I first became aware of how important it was when I was asked to sit on the Board of Directors for a local organization (a tiny Senior Center). Being that they only met once a month for 1-2 hours, I thought it would be a breeze, especially since I was the youngest person on the board. Within four months I resigned. I felt like a failure. However, I have a personality that takes on every situation personally. Any conflict or issue that came up became a massive mental burden. As I struggled to understand why I was being impacted so deeply by something innocuous, I had to allow myself to realize that whatever the reason, my energy was greatly impacted. I felt drained physically, mentally, and emotionally. Sure, it was embarrassing to admit this to myself and others, but it forced me to come face-to-face with the reality that there is such a thing as personal energy; and there are some things in this world that impact me more than others. Some people are cut out to sit on a Board of Directors. Not me.

At the same time, I can face something in regards to other matters and work through it without feeling any ill effect, sometimes even feeling energized, while others shut down mentally and emotionally because it is overwhelming and drains their energy.

WAYS I’VE LEARNED TO PROTECT MY ENERGY (& PEACE)

I can only offer suggestions from my own experience of both failing to protect my energy and succeeding to do so. However, I’ve learned that the greatest way to protect your energy is to grasp the understanding of having energy. Call it your soul or spirit. It’s that abstract part of you that you can neither see or touch but you feel it immensely. It’s what can make you snap at your spouse or child when they walk in the room or what makes you a stalwart in the midst of a crisis when everyone else is falling apart. Other ways I’ve learned to be proactive in protecting my energy or tending to my energy when I’ve tapped-out include:

1. Become aware (pay attention) to what impacts your personal energy—either sapping it or strengthening it.
2. Don’t ignore it when you feel yourself wearing thin (like I did). Don’t pretend your are superwoman/superman and try to push through. You’ll hit that brick wall or you’ll say or do something you’ll have to apologize for.
3. Take a walk and clear your head. This is always the first thing I do when I feel my energy waning. Then, you’ll be in a better position to know what to do next.
4. Pray. When I take that walk, I also pray. Start your day with prayer, end your day with prayer. It acts like a shield to you.
5. Be Still and quiet. This is one I’m still working on. The idea is to be still and quiet on a regular basis to preserve our energy! However, I have a tendency to be forced into stillness because I’m depleted. (Like I said, work in progress here. 😉)
6. Pause before contacting friends. Friends and accountability folks are SO important, but our tendency is to text/call our friends immediately. That often sets us up for self-pity. Instead, first be still and allow that silence and stillness to fill you back up. Partnered with prayer and study of scripture, you’ll be re-energized in no time!
7. Send out a prayer call / contact a friend for support. If you feel yourself wearing thin send out a prayer call to friends (it totally works!). Or, if you’ve hit that brick wall, do nos. 3-6 (it may only be a few minutes to do these), then, when the reactive emotions are a bit settled, send out the call for prayer or contact a trusted friend for support.
8. Be confident in your boundaries. When you start to recognized what depletes you and what fills you up, set up protection/preservation for yourself. If you’re going into a situation that you know will deplete your energy quickly, consider what steps you need to take to be supported in that situation. And don’t let anyone tell you that it “shouldn’t” drain you. We all have our areas that are particularly draining. No apologies.
9. Give the grace to others that you want for yourself. When we act with understanding and patience towards others who are depleted in situations in which we are fine, it actually empowers us in our own journey. In fact, you’ll find that it builds resilience and even heals those parts of you which cause you to be drained in certain situations. We all need healing, understanding, and patience. If you don’t give it to others, you probably won’t receive it in return. But, give it to others, EVEN IF you don’t get it in return. (HUUUUGE lesson I’ve learned and, truly, the best way to support yourself is to support others first).
10. Light Exercise. In addition to walking, I keep a weighted jump rope handy and I do my best to do 50 jumps a few times a day—especially if I’m stressed. It’s just enough to get my blood moving and it improves my mood. Maybe it’s a few pushups or sit-ups. Some pickleball or kayaking. Something to change the scenery and keep your body moving.

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