The Beauty of Friendship As A Soul-Mirror

There’s a hunger in the heart of every [person] to be known and understood…[they] become aware of other personalities who touch their life at different points and lead them into fuller self-expression.

Bertha condé

Friendship As A Soul-Mirror

Friends are to be a mirror to our soul.

In 1916, Bertha Condé wrote in her book, The Business of Being A Friend, “Our personality can be realized only as it responds to the stimulus of other personalities.”

One may imagine oneself to be one way, but until our personality is tried and tested in the company of others, we may discover we are not as we imagine. How many times have I walked away from being in the company of others only to cringe at either the words I said or the way I interacted!

Within our own company, we feel comfortable with our personal thoughts and behaviors; we imagine them as polished and polite. And the conversations we have with ourselves seem rational and just. However, it isn’t until we share our thoughts with someone else that we see what is really in our minds, as conversations with other people challenge what we really believe or understand versus what we think we believe or understand. 

FRIENDS IMPROVE EACH OTHER

Our interactions with others reveal what’s inside of us…and that is good. Often, our tongue seems to have a mind of its own when in public. How many times have I been talking, but at the same time my mind is telling me to be quiet and wondering where the words are coming from! My profession as a writer and creative, along with my personality, lends itself to the majority of my time being in solitude. The longer I am outside of social interactions, the more awkward I am once I do interact—and I’m nearly always surprised by the silliness that comes from my lips!

I have a terrible habit of rehearsing conversations over and over in my mind. I ruminate and blush at the embarrassing comments or strange behavior on my part. Finally, I came to understand that face-to-face encounters with friends and neighbors should be a priority in my life, as they refine my senses, challenge my thinking, and often reflect inward attitudes and prejudices that may need adjusting. Our soul—our personality—responds to the stimuli of the personality of others.

Our soul—our personality—responds to the stimuli of the personality of others.

King Solomon writes in Proverbs, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” God is all about friendships! Through Solomon, God is teaching us that we need people around us because friendship is a soul-mirror, reflecting what is otherwise unseen.

It takes courage to build the friendships that will sharpen our personality in the best way possible. However, it is worth taking the risk to have such relationships because we all need sharpening.

For Reflection