Letting Go: Thoughts on the end of a work of passion
On July 29, 2026, I announced the end of the magazine. The night before, I sat down to write out how I was feeling about letting go of what I thought was a calling and passion that would continue for many years.
What do I tell people? Am I in alignment with God or simply leaning on my own understanding? Closing wasn’t on my radar until a few days ago. It’s like all of a sudden the thought came to mind and everything in me agreed. This isn’t the first time I thought about closing. It has crossed my mind hundreds of times, but it was always accompanied by inner wrestling and uncertainty.
Not this time.
Sure, I immediately questioned the suggestion, brushing it off as fear from the ongoing challenges of keeping the magazine alive. But truthfully, that questioning was more out of habit and posturing than it was out of wondering, debating, or questioning.
The thoughts caught me by surprise at first because I’ve worked so hard and determinedly to keep going. I suppose a part of me feels disappointed and wonders whether I’ve given up or haven’t done all I could.
Another part of me is grieving—especially as I pick up a copy of the magazine. I love it, each one. The study, writing, designing, weaving it all together…it awakened something in me that I didn’t know was there.
Spending hours and hours looking for just the right font or photo until my eyes burned or rewriting an article a half-dozen times, I loved the process and adored the end result. The marriage of visual beauty and challenging content for my mind and soul, and the incredible encounters with God as I searched out scripture. I learned so much about who He is and became a better student or scholar.
Even so, with the grief of losing that unique mixture of art, creativity, study, and betterment of mind and soul, most of me has already moved on (or so I tell myself). There’s still writing and publishing to do. There are still creative ideas to be birthed…and there’s still a dream to be uncovered.
While the magazine has to come to an end, Paola Lane will continue as a weekly devotional and blog. You can find the creator and editor, Anamcara Laura, on Substack. She also continues to write and create publications through Ink On Paper Studio, the magazine’s publishing house.
